Bubble Gum Boba Milkshake

I was a vegan for a few years in high school, so you’d think it would have occurred to me that there isn’t really a substitute for ice cream. Not an easy one, anyway. However, the following concept was so buh-genius and endlessly awesome (or so it seemed in theory) that I got all excited and didn’t totally think through the possible quality control issues. The formulation of the concept began when I came across this recipe for bubble gum ice cream. The discovery was abruptly followed by the thought that I could make a milkshake out of the homemade bubble gum ice cream and holy shit wouldn’t it be the best thing ever if there was boba in it!!!!!

Those gun books in the background aren’t mine.
The lighting was better in my brother’s room.

Best thing ever isn’t a term I would apply to what I ended up with. It may have been my bad: it’s not outside the realm of possibilities that I underwhipped ingredients during the bubble gum ice cream process. The first thing you’re supposed to do is take a pint of whipping cream and beat it into stiff peaks with an electric mixer. Last time I made baked Alaska, I overwhipped the meringue and it came out looking like Freddy Kruger. Forgetting that egg whites and whipping cream are different substances, I may have gotten overly cautious with the whipping cream.

The next step is to quickly fold in sweetened condensed milk (along with bubble gum extract and food coloring), and put it in the freezer in an airtight container for 6+ hours. I must have under-did the folding because when I tried the ice cream before making a milkshake out of it, there were parts that really, really tasted more like sweetened condensed milk than bubble gum, and other parts where the opposite was the case. This was, of course, no longer true after I made a milkshake out of it.

During pre-milkshake taste-testing the night before, the texture was fine. After I turned it into a milkshake with my mother’s handblender, it got a chance to melt. The texture’s a little off when this ice cream melts, smooshily granular in a way, if that makes sense.

The ice cream was very sweet. I don’t know if the overall intensity could be lowered with ¾ or ½ of a dram of bubble gum extract instead of the whole thing. Having a cold glass of water to chase all the sweetness helped, though. It probably would have been easier to handle in a smaller dose. But regardless of dosage, it would have melted in the same weird way, which was chief spell-breaker for me.

The boba, on the other hand, was great. I love tapioca pearls. The back of the package swears on its mother’s eyes that to rehydrate you’ll need 10 cups of water per cup of boba, which, I’m sorry to say, I did. I’m not just saying this because California’s in the middle of a serious drought: 10 cups of water is gratuitous. If you’re going to do it yourself, I’d say you need five, tops, for each cup of boba.

Because I was so enamored with the concept, I’m glad I gave it a try. If “bubble gum milkshake” sounds like the best thing ever to you, too, I’d recommend going to Baskin Robbins or whoever else that sells bubble gum ice cream and purchase it instead of making the ice cream part from scratch.

We have fluorescent lights in our kitchen,
hence my brother’s room being a better candidate for boba photography.

Have you ever made your own ice cream?
Have you done something unexpected with boba?
When’s the last time you screwed up something in the kitchen?